I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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