am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
