You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
where are you?
Hypothermia
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
