you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
