is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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