oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
