i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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