He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
