I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
