Only a mothe r could love this liver
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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