if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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