doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
