his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
