fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
