I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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