Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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