Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
