Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
my poor anus
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
