Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
