I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We left the knife in your bed.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
