she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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