I like to think it a success when the cops are called
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
