oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
