It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
