so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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