Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
