is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
