Sponge bath it is.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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