I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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