I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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