the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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