She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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