would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
