Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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