he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
