As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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