just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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