I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
