well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
