some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
