I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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