This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
