Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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