no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
