Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
