I love black thongs
one two three fourrrrnication!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
