Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
