also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
