New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Sober January is a disaster.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
