So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
