D3 body, D1 cock
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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